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BF1G 8: War Of The Wizards... and other classes!!!
Note #70
posted on Jokes
Sunday, May 13, 2018 @ 03:43
Last time on Battle For 1 Gold:
Ivar told everyone to be ready for the 
double elimination. Chich explained his hatred towards Liber 
(which wasn't known until now)
and Ivar found a bunch of screws offscreen. 
Peter was eliminated with the most votes and 
Orcron and Liber tied with the second most votes, resulting in the 
second tiebreaker challenge of the season. 
Then, Ivar revealed that one eliminated contestant would leave the 
locker of losers and rejoin the competition. 
Who will rejoin? How will this event effect the game?
Do any of these people even deserve to rejoin? 
Anyway, Ivar is yet to tell the contestants still in the game 
and Orcron's shield has a bunch of screws poking out of it. 

And That's what you missed on Battle For 1 Gold.

Claire: "Oh my, like, god! What is, like, taking him so long?"
Dark Cop: "Just be patient." 
Liber: "She has a point. Normally," 
Chich (who rudely interrupts Liber): 
"Ivar gives us a challenge right after eliminating someone." 
Liber: "Thanks for finnishing my sentence." 
Chich: "Sorry. I'm still a little bit pissed at you." 
Noegel: "Wow. If it's for the same reason as last episode," 
Toneloc: "Nothing. You said all that fourth wall stuff to Ivar, not Noegel." 
Noegel: "As I was saying, that was a long time ago, Chiiiiiich. Let it go." 
Noegel shrieks as Chich grabs her from behind and begins to hump! 
Maerchyng: "We should really help her. She's kinda getting vialated."
Toneloc: "I'll save her! Sharp Dagger activate!"
A dagger appears in Toneloc's hand and he starts moving towards Chich.
Chich: "Oh humpahole! I don't want to die again!" 
Toneloc: "Too bad! You humped Noegel and I really want to kill someone!"
Starling: "Calm down, ninja. Noegel's been humped many times in the past." 
Toneloc: "Well, I still want to kill someone." 
Dog: "Woof!" 
Toneloc: "There's an easy target! Let's hope PETA isn't watching this!" 
Vladia: "They're not watching."
Toneloc: "That's all I needed to hear!" 
Toneloc's stab does unbelievable things to Dog (84397)!
Dog staggers and falls to the ground... dead!
Liber: "Well, PETA may not have been watching but the RSPCA sure was."
Toneloc: "Why the nopk clan didn't you tell me?!"
Vladia: "I was going to but you had to murder that cute little animal."
Some crazy shit happens and everyone comes back to life! 
Ivar: "Good news, contestants." 
Bardington: "Roses are rallenge. Is it time for the challenge?"
Ivar: "Nope. But 1 eliminated contestant will be rejoining the game." 
Claire: "Like, it's totally gonna be my BFFFL, Criv!"
Vladia: "It is obviously gonna be Dahr." 
Toneloc: "Well it's obviously not gonna be Orcron."
Ivar opens the lid of the LOL. 
Ivar: "Well, as you know, 1 of you will rejoin the competition. 
So let's get down to business." 
Dog raises his hind leg and takes a shit. 
Ivar: "That's not what I meant." 
Dahr: "Sir,! Tell us who's rejoining, sir!"
Ivar: "Well, Alice did not get any votes, meaning she will 
not rejoin."
Alice: "Oh well, I wish good luck to everyone else."
Ivar: "Peter, since your elimination was so recent, 
you did not get any votes either. I'm sorry."
peter: "Damn it! I really wanted to come back!"
Ivar: "The next person not rejoining is...
Crivoght: "Oh no! Can I at least see LaPorta before you shut the lid?"
Ivar: "No." 
Ivar puts a blindfold over Crivoght's eyes. 
Ivar: "Dahr, despite your command, you did not receive enough votes either." 
Dahr: "But my team needs me! Who will command them, keep them 
under control, lead them to victory?!"
Ivar: "Aren't you going to say sir to finnish that sentence?"
Dahr: "No sir!"
Ivar: "Snooky and Orcron. You are now 
the only possible returnies." 
Snooky: "Come on, man. I was eliminated first. 
The viewers obviously voted for me."
Ivar: "One of you got all 3 of the votes. The other got nothing."
Orcron: "It seriously better be me! Why would you vote for Snooky?! 
He was only on the show for 2 episodes!" 
Snooky: "Well, I think the viewers have had enough of your attitude.
Because, my (sensered racial slur), you're just an
ass hole trainer who doesn't care for the wellbeing of others. 
No wonder you got voted off."
Ivar: "Snooky rejoins the competition." 
Snooky: "Sweet!" 
DarkCop: "It's my lucky day. The only decent person in the LOL was the one who
came back." 
Snooky: "What's up my (sensered racial slur)?
Orcron: "No! I cannot believe that stupid
(sensered racial slur) joined over me!"
Ivar: "Ok. Today's challenge is about killing, survival, and not being a 
stupid little (sensered racial slur), something that Orcron would 
have trouble with."
Snooky: "Stop stealing my jokes or I'll call you a (sensered racial slur)!"
Ivar: "Anyway, we're gonna start a war. 
Ivar: "The last person standing will win for his or her team."
Snooky: "Wait, which team am I on?" 
Ivar: "You'll find out later. For now, just relax.
You will not be participating in this challenge."
Ivar transports everyone to the war zone.
Ivar: "Go."
Chich chants the phrase "I will hump you!"
Chich's humplust does unbelievable things to claire (78,903)! 
Chich starts humping Claire so hard that she dies! She is dead!
Chich humps the vialated corpse of Claire until it decomposes!
Noegel: "Ok, Mr. Bard Wannabe. You're going down!"
Bardington: "Yeah. I guess I am." 
Noegel: "Seriously? You're supposed to be angry and stuff."
Bardington starts reciting a verse from a really crappy poem he wrote!
Bardington's poetry does unbelievable things to Noegel (65,347)!
Noegel is at death's door!
Noegel eats Bardington, killing him and restoring her health to
Maerchyng: "Do I really have to do this?"
Bob: "Yeah, Dude! That is, unless you want to be put on the chopping block!"
Maerchyng: "Ok. If you say so."
Maerchyng's shroud of flame does unbelievable things to 
Bob The Priest Dude (135,791)!
Bob sacrifices the burning corpse of BTPD to Ayla!
A few hours later... 
DarkCop: "Ok. I guess it's me and you you (sensered racial slur)!"
Maerchyng: "Bring it on." 
DarkCop's stab nicks Maerchyng (5)!
Maerchyng: "Seriously?" 
DarkCop's stab hits Maerchyng (13)!
DarkCop's stab injures Maerchyng (18)!
DarkCop's stab scars Maerchyng (12)! 
11 hours later...
DarkCop's stab malls Maerchyng (20)! 
Maerchyng is at death's door!
Maerchyng chants the phrase "full restore!"
Maerchyng heals himself! 
Maerchyng is in perfect health! 
Ivar: "Just finnish the war already! Someone please just die!" 
DarkCop: "Hey Maerchyng! Someone burnt down the Academy!" 
Maerchyng: "How could this happen to me?
I made my mistakes! Got nowhere to run!
The night goes,"
DarkCop's decapitation does unbelievable things to Maerchyng (2,354,786)!
Ivar: "DarkCop wins for the woofity woofers!"
Snooky: "Ok, now can you tell me which team I'm on?"
Ivar: "Well, you're now on Team Woof!"
So, viewers, vote for either
Chich, Starling, Bardington, Bob, LaPorta, Toneloc, Pixie or Maerchyng
to be eliminated! Vote 1 of them right now or Snooky might call you a 
(sensered racial slur)!
Maybe that should've been the episode title. 
BF1G 7: A second chance to screw up!!!
Note #69
posted on Jokes
Sunday, May 6, 2018 @ 03:54
Ivar: "It's time, bitches, for the most epic elimination 
in reality tv history!"
Orcron: "No! He's wrong! This elimination's gonna suck!"
Claire: "It's, like, only gonna suck if I'm eliminated!" 
DarkCop: "You won immunity last time. You do remember that, right?"
Claire: "Oh yeah! I, like, totally forgot!
Now I remember!" 
DarkCop (sarcastically): 
"Oh yay. We really needed another annoying mob on the show. 
Two just wasn't enough." 
Vladia: "Those other 2 are Crivoght and Peter, right?"
Peter: "Hey!"
Vladia: "Well, it is true." 
Bardington: "Roses are red, violets are dead? 
Is that the line?"
Ivar: "Whoops. Sorry Bardington. 
I forgot you existed."
Orcron: "You shit heads better stop talking or I'll kill you!" 
Chich: "God. I hope you and Liber are out." 
Liber: "What? What did I ever do to you?" 
Chich: "Remember episode 1?" 
A flashback starts playing. 
Chich: "Um... I humped Liber?"
DarkCop: "Whatever." 
Liber: "I'm still scarred, Chich. Never do it again." 
The flashback ends.
Maerchyng: "You know that was episode 2, right?"
Liber: "That's why you hate me? I wasn't trying to be rude! It's just..."
Chich: "I've heard enough! Enjoy your last few minutes on the show!" 
Ivar: "Ok. If you remember, last episode, everyone except
Chich, Claire, Vladia, Noegel and Bardington won immunity, 
putting the rest of you up for a double elimination." 
Toneloc: "Okay dokay! What are the prizes?"
Ivar: "The prizes are these rusty screws I found in a random shed." 
Liber: "Isn't that a bit dangerous?"
Ivar: "Yep. That's why it's fun to throw them." 
Toneloc: "Relax, Liber. How bad could it be?"
Ivar: "Really bad for Dog, Pixie and Maerchyng. They are the first 3 safe."
Everyone dodges the screws being flung at them by Ivar.
Ivar: "Starling and LaPorta are also safe."
Starling misdirects Ivar's attack while LaPorta
manages to narrowly avoid it. 
Ivar: "Bob and Toneloc are both getting forks." 
The 2 successfully dodge the forks and Ivar continues.
Ivar: Now there are only 4 of you left. 
DarkCop, you were a tad bit mean to some contestants. 
But you have a large fanbase." 
DarkCop: "Hopefully my fans came through. Because if they didn't, I'll 
have to take action as soon as possible."
Ivar: "You're fans did come through. You are the last person safe before the 
final 3." 
Peter: "I don't want to be locked up! It'll be so boring and I'll go 
Liber: "If I had known my statement in episode 2 would cause such 
negative results, I would not have said that. 
I'm sorry, ok?"
Orcron: "You viewers are such idiots for voting for me! I'll kill you all!"
Ivar: "Peter, I'm sorry to tell you this, 
but you are the first person going home. 
But I'll make sure there's enough to eat and enough entertainment."
Peter: "Oh man. Sorry for all the trouble I caused."
Ivar: "It's a little too late for that." 
Ivar throws Peter into the LOL with one hand, just to prove he is a god!
Ivar: "Orcron and Liber. You are the bottom 2." 
Vladia: "Well Orcron, it was nice knowing you... not!"
Chich: "What are you talking about? Liber's going home!" 
Ivar: "Well, it's another tie." 
Liber: "Did you actually think of a tighbreaker this time?"
Ivar: "I'll be throwing an endless barrage of screws at you. 
The first person to be hit 3 times is eliminated."
Liber: "Ok." 
Ivar: "go!"
Orcron: "You're going down! I've got a shield!"
Liber: "Oh, shit! I'm doomed!"
Ivar starts rapidly throwing screws at Liber and Orcron! 
Orcron deflects the screws with his shield while
Liber effortlessly dodges them. 
Chich: "Go Ivar! Kill Liber with those screws!"
Dog: "Woof!"
Starling: "You know they're all missing, right?"
Three hours later...
Ivar: "Agh! It's been three hours and noone has been hit!"
Orcron: "Just eliminate Liber already!"
Liber: "Turn around for a sec! 
I just want to get the screws out of your shield before I leave."
Ivar quickly turns around. 
Orcron: "Ok, loser! How are you gonna..."
Ivar: "Orcron, thanks to Liber's strategy, you are the second eliminated!" 
Liber: "The second eliminated was..."
Ivar: "You know what I mean!" 
Orcron: "No! Wait! Please! I'll 
be nice to everyone from now on! Please! Please!"
Liber: "Orcron, you've been a real bitch to everyone all season.
Now it's time for you to pay.". 
DarkCop: "I didn't think this would ever happen." 
Orcron: "No! I'll give you anything! Don't send meeeeeeeee!!!"
Ivar sends Orcron to the LOL before he can finnish!
Meanwhile, in the LOL...
Crivoght: "Go LaPorta! Win BF1G for me!"
Peter: "You're seriously still cheering for him?" 
Dahr: "Si... Mam! He is unable to hear you, Mam!"
Crivoght: "Sorry! I just want to leave!"
Snooky: "Well, I was the first person eliminated so I think I should leave!"
Peter: "First is worst!"
Alice: "Please. There is really no need to argue." 
Ivar: "Hey. One of you will be rejoining the battle for 1 gold!"
Alice: "Oh! What's the occasion?"
Ivar: "Well, six contestants have been eliminated so far. 
To form the final 15, I will allow one person to rejoin."
Snooky: "Sweet! But that's not really much of an occasion!"
Ivar: "The person rejoining will be determined by the viewers." 
Reltubydoc: "That means all of you! Vote for the person that 
you think should rejoin the show!"
Ivar: "You can choose snooky," 
Snooky: "Viewers, I know you may not like me. But if you let me 
rejoin, I promice that you will not regret it." 
Ivar: "Crivoght,"
Crivoght: "Vote for me, yeah yeah yeah! 
Type my name, yeah yeah yeah! 
Because LaPorta needs me! He just can't live without me!"
Alice: "If you vote for me, I promice I will try my hardest to 
help my team succeed. So please, let me rejoin." 
Dahr: "Attention! All viewers must report to the personal board
and vote for me immediately!"
Orcron: "You better vote me or, or I'll murder you!"
Peter: "I'm just a kid. I don't do well at 
everything! But I want you to vote for me right now!"
Ivar: "Alice, Dahr, Orcron or Peter."
Reltubydoc: "Remember! Cast your votes by
sending me a tell or a personal note!" 
If Aardwolf Was Not Realistic 14!!!
Note #68
posted on Jokes
Saturday, May 5, 2018 @ 04:11
ManMan opens the door and steps into what 
seems to be another realm entirely!
ManMan: "Oh shit! What's going on now? 
I've been through enough of this already." 
Tree: "Get off my branches you little turd burgler!" 
ManMan: "Last episode we had an electric fan. Now we have this non-living 
peace of troll shit." 
Tree: "I'm a living organism! Didn't you learn about this in science?"
ManMan: "You know I dropped out of school in 3rd grade, right?"
Tree: "I can't leave this classroom! I don't know jack 
about the outside world!" 
Tree starts sobbing uncontrollably!
Tree: "Noone ever understands me!"
ManMan: Wait, you said. this was a classroom?"
Klau takes off his tree costume! 
ManMan: "Indeed it is, young whippersnapper!"
ManMan: "Is this what people do around here,
dress up as trees and start bitching and whining?"
Klau: "Now hold on there, sonny! I'm gonna teach you
the wonders of the outside world!" 
ManMan: "Just get this over with. I want to get to the fun stuff." 
Klau: "Oh come on! Learnin about the world out there is tons of fun!" 
Nie: "Yeah! Like there was this one time where Klau was like, 
"Omg! I'm totally stupid and Nie is so smart!"
and I just had to agree with..." 
Klau: "Now, what'd you just say about me, you young bucket of trouble?"
ManMan: "Wait, I've got this crazy old man." 
Klau: "Use your punctuation!"
ManMan decapitates Nie with an Aylorian sword!
ManMan: "Ok! This is more like it!" 
Klau teaches ManMan all the stuff he needs to know and 
gives him a portal. 
Klau: "This is a portal! You can play it on 
your play station or something." 
ManMan: "I knew he was crazy." 
Klau: "What?" 
ManMan: "I was just gonna say that you didn't give me the game. 
You gave me an actual portal. You know, 
as in an elaborate doorway/gate/entrance?"
Klau: "Oh! Sorry! Here you go!"
ManMan: "Much better."
Klau: "And you can keep the actual portal too! It might be useful!"
**task done: It's boring but you need to do it! 
ManMan leaves the classroom and starts heading up the stairs leading 
to the second floor of the Academy. 
Recruiter: "And where do you think you're going, man?"
ManMan: "It's ManMa... wait, where the hell did you come from?"
Recruiter: "You haven't figured it out yet? Everyone here is immortal. 
We watch newbies from the heavens, making sure 
they don't drop out of school." 
ManMan: "I already..."
Recruiter: "Stop interrupting me!
Anyway, the trainers are just representations of our 
true forms, sent to Andelor by our leader, Lasher." 
ManMan: "Ok, so are you gonna tell me your evil plan now?"
Recruiter: "No. I just wanted to tell you some shit you probably won't 
remember. The previous recruiter told me the exact same story many years ago."
ManMan: "No. I'm not gonna be the next recruiter. I want to go and kill stuff."
Recruiter: "I tell this story to all of my students." 
ManMan: "Pretty shitty story if you ask me." 
Recruiter: "Ok. Now you can pass."
What will await ManMan on the second floor? 
How the hell did Nie come back?
Recruiter: "It's called a repop!"
Find out next time on...
Nie: "Hey Rel! I just want to say..."
I stab Nie in the chest multiple times! 
Take! That! You! Stupid! Gold! Thieving! Bitch!
Re: BF1G 5: Harmless Lasers!!!
Note #67
posted on Jokes
Thursday, May 3, 2018 @ 11:19
Reply to: Note 58 posted by Reltubydoc

| Dog (played by a random dog)
Casting suggestion- George Clooney draws in the crowds and has some experience.
If Aardwolf Was Not Realistic 13!!!
Note #66
posted on Jokes
Wednesday, April 25, 2018 @ 03:53
ManMan and Aaeron are still in the communication room.
Aaeron: "Hey! Did you hear?"
ManMan: "Did I hear your boring lecture? Yes. 
And I don't want to hear another one." 
Aaeron: "Young Man. That attitude is not good if you want 
a chance at making friends."
ManMan: "It's ManMan, not "Young Man." And 
stop trying to force me to change my personality.
I'm a huge dick and the fans love me for it."
Animated Desk Fan: "Oh my god! I love you! I'm your biggest fan!"
Aaeron: "Is that what you meant?"
ManMan: "Not at all. But tell your desk fan that it is 
no better than the LaPorta fangirl from BF1G."
Ivar: "Bitch, how do you know about BF1G?"
ManMan: "Oh. I love that show. But I really fucking hate Crivoght." 
Ivar: "That explanes why you were such a dick to her last episode." 
ManMan: "Ok. Are you stalking me or something?" 
Ivar: "No. I'm a fucking god. I thought you'd know that."
ManMan: "Speaking of gods, Ayla got really 
pissed at you for breaking the fourth wall."
Aaaeron: "I heard that she's gonna break up with you or something." 
Ivar: "I already broke up with her."
Ayla: "This is the wrong show, Ivar!"
Aaeron: "I hope Orcron gets eliminated. He's really mean, sorta like you."
ManMan gets a raged look in his eyes!
Aaeron: "If I wasn't against drug use, I'd tell you to take a chill pill."
ManMan: "It's funny when I do it, not when he does it. 
Also, he poisoned me once." 
Ivar: "I can't vote because I'm the host. But if I could, I'd vote Dog.
3 episodes."
Aaeron: "Ok. Back to the lesson." 
Aaeron teaches ManMan everything he has to know. 
Ivar: "Yeah, Rel knew that noone wanted to read
the Academy lessons in this series so he skipped them."
**task done: Do some shit with Aaeron! 
**task added: Geography can be boring, but you need to do it!
**task hint: It's the only class on the first floor you haven't taken yet! 
As some (including myself) would say: "Save the best for last!" 
Reltubydoc: "Well, do you want that free beer?"
ManMan runs out of the room at the mere sound of the words, "Free beer." 
Reltubydoc: "Oh, also, Aaeron, you're not a player anymore so 
your vote will not be counted. However, it'll be mentioned in BF1G." 
What will await ManMan in the Geography Training Room?
Why are my outros so boring? 
Why isn't this episode unlucky?
ManMan: "I don't believe in superstitions." 
Find out next time on...
If! Aardwolf! Wasn't! Realistic!!!
Ivar leaves the room with style, but smashes the window in the process. 
BF1G 6: Pranks For Nothing!!!
Note #64
posted on Jokes
Monday, April 16, 2018 @ 02:43
Ivar: "Ok, Ninjas. It's time for the elimination." 
Toneloc: "Just a moment!"
Toneloc's backstab does unbelievable things to Chich! (935,024)
Chich staggers and falls to the ground... dead!
Toneloc: "Ah! I've been wanting to do that since episode 2!" 
Starling: "Ninja, that was just plane wrong!"
Toneloc's backstab does unbelievable things to Starling! (2,357,909)
Maerchyng: "It's time to stop killing people! 
I know how much work it takes to summon a repop, since I'm an immortal!"
Dahr: "Sir! It takes a lot of mana, sir!"
Toneloc: "Sorry, guys. I was just trying to have fun." 
Dahr: "Just get out there and win the war known as BF1G!" 
Ivar: "Well, let's see which of you will not be winning the war known as BF1G."
Bob: "Dudes! We haven't had an elimination in a long time!"
LaPorta: "Eye doon't thinch thaatz someing toh beh exited four." 
Pixie: "Losing a team member is not something to get excited about!"
Ivar: "Well, you won't be losing LaPorta, Maerchyng or Bob."
Ivar waves his hands about in grand gestures as he casts, "Summon repop!"
Ivar: "The 2 people who died are both safe."
Starling: "So, what do we get?"
Ivar: "Well, I couldn't aford to get anything. Sorry."
Toneloc: "Oh man! That sucks!"
Ivar: "Toneloc, this is the most you've said in a while. 
also, just kidding. The prises are airhorns." 
Ivar throws airhorns at the safe contestants.
Ivar: "Pixie, you are also safe." 
Pixie: "Excelent. My team needs me."
Ivar: "Not really. Anyway, Bardington, Toneloc or Dahr will be sent home....
I mean the LOL." 
Bardington: "Roses are Red, violets are blue." 
Ivar: "Dahr and Toneloc are in the bottom 2." 
Bardington: "You didn't even let me finnish!"
Toneloc: "I guess one of us is out, Dahr."
Dahr: "It is always sad to lose someone in a war."
Ivar: "You both got 1 vote, resulting in the second tie in this competition." 
Toneloc: "So, what's the challenge to decide who goes home?"
Ivar: "Well, I was too lazy to think of 1. 
I guess the person who received their vote first will leave.
That person just so happens to be..."
Toneloc shivers uncontrollably. 
However, Dahr remains calm, still sure about his safety.
Ivar: "Toneloc!" 
Toneloc: "No!"
Ivar: "April fools, bitch." 
Starling: "It's not even..."
Ivar: "Dahr, it looks like you're the first former imm to go bye bye."
Chich raises an eyebrow at Ivar.
Toneloc: "Well, he can't say the same thing all the time, right?"
Dahr: "No! I will not be defeated! I will never surrender! 
As a loyal member of The Shut Up Ninjas, I will stand firmly and 
fight until my dying breath!"
Ivar: "That's not likely."
Ivar throws Dahr into the LOL with 1 hand, just to prove he is a god.
Ivar: "In this challenge, you'll be pranking each other in an 
every man, woman, child and dog for themselves prank battle.
The last 5 standing win immunity." 
Peter: "What happens to everyone else?"
Ivar: "The rest will be put up for a double elimination!"
Toneloc: "Well, I really need to sit down." 
Toneloc sits down and a fart is heard. 
Ivar: "I threw in some stuff of my own. I guess Toneloc's out."
Toneloc: "But the contest hasn't even started yet!" 
Ivar: "Wel'l, it has now."
Starling: "I've got an idea." 
Starling becomes stealthy and sneaks off to prank someone.
Dog, not knowing what to do, runs around chasing his tail. 
Starling: "A perfect first target." 
Dog eventually becomes dizzy and stops. Starling sneaks up behind him.
She toots the air horn in his ear and leaves!
Dog turns around to see who did it. But there was noone there.
LaPorta: "Boob, I haf two go spu. I've ben drinking sew much!" 
Bob: "It's a good thing I have a barf bag!"
LaPorta looks at Bob and promptly pukes! 
Bob: "Dude! Have you been eating fleas? There's a shit ton in the bag now!"
LaPorta: "Noo! Ef anny won's eating flees ax's you!"
It cuts to a flashback where Noegel puts some fleas into Bob's barf bag. 
Noegel: "This is sure to spook them." 
Starling takes a brake after pranking Liber, Orcron, DarkCop and Maerchyng.
She starts playing Aardwolf on her phone. 
Peter: "Uh, Starling?"
Starling: "What is it, kid?"
"Peter: well I'm lost and I don't have gps on my phone. Can I borrow yours?"
Starling: "I guess you can." 
Peter takes the phone and runs off with it!
Starling: "Oh, shit! I should've known!"
Ivar: "Starling's out."
Peter: "Ok, Starling. Here's your phone." 
2 hours later...
Ivar: "It's down to Peter, Bardington, Chich, Claire, Vladia and Noegel. 
Peter: "This is the most fun I've ever had. But I need a break!" 
He sits down, only to hear a fart! 
Ivar: "Peter is out!" 

Since this is a double elimination, vote for 2 contestants to get the boot! 
The 2 people with the most votes will be eliminated!
Chich, Claire, Vladia, Bardington and Noegel are immune
so you can't vote for them! 
Re: (Fabled) V3 Trivia Sleeping Bag (1)
Note #63
posted on Jokes
Wednesday, April 11, 2018 @ 19:33
Reply to: Note 62 posted by Turie

I don't get it
(Fabled) V3 Trivia Sleeping Bag (1)
Note #62
posted on Jokes
Wednesday, April 11, 2018 @ 17:31
| Keywords   : v3 trivia sleeping bag v3triv fabled               |
| Name       : (Fabled) V3 Trivia Sleeping Bag                   |
| Id         : 325680212                                          |
| Worn       : Sleeping in                                        |
| Type       : Furniture                 Level  :     1           |
| Worth      : 5,000                     Weight :     1           |
| Wearable   : sleeping                                           |
| Score      : 0                                                  |
| Material   : cloth                                              |
| Flags      : glow, hum, magic, held, nopurge, burn-proof,       |
|            : solidified, resonated, illuminated, V3, precious   |
| Owned By   : Turie                                              |
| Found at   : The Warzone                                        |
| Heal Rate  : Health [250]    Magic [250]                        |
| Stat Mods  : Dexterity    : +2       Wisdom       : +2          |
|              Intelligence : +2       Strength     : +2          |
|              Constitution : +2                                  |
| Resist Mods: All magic    : +3       All physical : +3          |
|              Water        : +24      Shadow       : +24         |
|              Electric     : +24      Mental       : +24         |
|              Negative     : +24      Holy         : +24         |
|              Light        : +24      Cold         : +24         |
|              Acid         : +24      Fire         : +24         |
|              Bash         : +24      Pierce       : +24         |
|              Slash        : +24                                 |
Re: BF1G 5: Harmless Lasers!!! +
Note #60
posted on Jokes
Sunday, April 1, 2018 @ 13:07
Reply to: Note 59 posted by Impurifan

It's April Fools?
Sorta like you! 
Also, Don't forget to vote off 
a member of The Shut Up Ninjas! 
If not, the vote will change to a contestant vote!
Random people: "No! Dislike! Unsubscribe! Ignore!"
Re: BF1G 5: Harmless Lasers!!!
Note #59
posted on Jokes
Friday, March 30, 2018 @ 07:42
Reply to: Note 58 posted by Reltubydoc

When it is red you go and when it is green you stop.  what is it?
BF1G 5: Harmless Lasers!!!
Note #58
posted on Jokes
Friday, March 23, 2018 @ 02:51
Ivar is waiting at the elimination area. 
Ivar: "Woofiots. It's time for one of you to leave."
Chich: "Don't you remember? You killed them all last episode. 
I've been humping their corpses all night."
Ivar: "Chich, that is really fucking discusting." 
Bob The Priest Dude: "Yeah, dude! LaPorta's dead too!" 
Starling: "You can't host an elimination where everyone's dead!" 
Ivar: "Well, I guess I should summon a repop." 
Ivar waves his hands about in grand gestures as he casts, "Summon Repop!"
Some crazy shit happens and everyone comes back to life!
Dahr: "All members of Woof must report to the elimination area ASAP!"
Ivar: "They know that." 
Dog: "Woof." 
Ivar: "Ok. Let's do the elimination."
Orcron: "About time!"
Ivar: "If I call your name, you are safe and will receive a laser.
Dog, Orcron, Vladia, Noegel and Liber are all safe
at 0 votes." 
Liber: "What a relief." 
Peter: "Oh no! I think I'm eliminated!"
Ivar: "Well, Peter, you got 0 votes. This means you are safe."
Claire: "Why, like , would you, like, make him safe before you, like, 
make me, like, safe?"
Ivar: "It doesn't matter. Claire, 
surprisingly, you also received 0 votes."
DarkCop: "Seriously? Why would they vote for me? I tried to help my team!
And that's not something you see everyday!" 
Ivar: "Well, DarkCop, you are safe with 1 out of the total 6 votes 
we received. Alice, with 5 votes, you are eliminated."
Alice: "Well, I've heard your message, and I've heard it loud and clear.
The viewers obviously do not want me here. 
I know I should have contributed more to the team. 
But what could I have done? The last challenges have either been 
really discusting or really insane. 
And because of this, I am not going into the locker!"
Ivar: "Well, too bad for you. It's time to go."
Ivar throws Alice into the LOL with 1 hand, just to prove he is a god.
Ivar: "Well, now that she's gone, it's time for the next challenge. 
Today, we'll be playing a game of Lasertag."
Peter: "I've never fired a laser before!"
Ivar: "Don't worry. These lasers are harmless."
Chich: "Noone was worrying." 
Ivar: "The team that gets hit the least will win immunity. 
Vladia: "Wait! There's something that's not fair. 
Our team has 1 less member than the other team." 
Ivar: "Ok. I guess a Shut Up Ninja will have to sit out."
Starling: "I think it should be LaPorta. He cannot aim for shit."
Ivar: "Go."
Dahr: "Ok! We will all separate and 
attack Woof from all sides! If we get chased, recall back to the base 
and hide behind our mascot! 
Pixie will treat any wounded players!" 
Pixie: "These lasers are harmless. Didn't you hear Ivar?"
Dahr: "Whatever! Now, prepare for war!"
Vladia: "Team Woof, we cannot afford to lose another member! 
We need to win this one!"
Dog: "Arf!"
Liber: "You're both right! None of us want to get sent to the LOL, do we?"
Everyone: "No! We do not!"
Orcron: "Because everyone in there is stupid!"
Liber: "Things have been hard for every single one of us. 
We have faced insane challenges and lost 2 amazing people." 
DarkCop: "Yeah, yeah! Enough with the 6 hour speaches!"
Liber: "In this challenge, we will not let those ninjas beat us!"
Woof's members charge into the laser zone. 
Chaos and laser blasts fill the arena! The score board changes every second! 
Ivar: "Time's up! Let's check the scores!"
The score board reveals that Woof was hit 207 times. 
The Shut Up Ninjas were hit 208 times. 
Ivar: "Well, it was the closest competition so far, if not ever. 
However, The Woofinators managed to win!" 
Claire: "Oh my, like, god! Our, like, losing streak is over!"
Reltubydoc: "Vote for either:
Chich, Starling, Toneloc, Bob, LaPorta, Dahr, Pixie,
Maerchyng or Bardington to be eliminated by posting a personal 
note to me telling me who should leave.
The person who gets the most votes will leave the show." 

Ivar (played by reltubydoc) 
Alice (played by StArLiGhT) 
LaPorta (Played by Cackle) 
Bardington (played by Chich) 
Claire and Pixie (both played by Noegel)
Dog (played by a random dog)
Vladia (played by Starling)
Dahr (played by Beltsa) 
Maerchyn and Orcron (played by Reltubydoc)
Peter (played by Chich) 
Current player characters: (played by their real life counterparts)
Written, Published and Directed by Reltubydoc.
Whoops forgot some!
Note #57
posted on Jokes
Wednesday, March 21, 2018 @ 04:55
Written, published and directed by Reltubydoc.
Based on: The Aylorian Academy goal.
If Aardwolf Was Not Realistic 12!!!
Note #56
posted on Jokes
Wednesday, March 21, 2018 @ 04:07
ManMan is in the entrance to The Land Of The Beer Goblins.
He sees something move from behind the western pillar. 
ManMan: "Excuse me. You know I can see you, right? I can also 
end your life in an instant if I need to." 
Crivoght: "Oh my god! LaPorta! Is that you?"
ManMan: "Yes. It's me." 
Crivoght comes running out of her hiding place.
ManMan: "April fools, bitch. I don't even know LaPorta or whatever 
the hell his name is." 
ManMan: "Stop being triggered and tell me where I can buy some fucking beer."
Crivoght: Next to the beer fountain, where my darling LaPorta stands!" 
ManMan: "He probably doesn't love you back."
Crivoght: "What was that?"
ManMan: "I won't be back."
ManMan walks into the beer factory. 
ManMan: "I need some beer and I need it now."
Beer Factory dude: "Ok! Fine! Stop being rude!" 
ManMan receives some beer. 
**task done: Maybe you should buy some beer?
**task added: Return to Claire and give her all her shit!
ManMan walks up the steps into the Academy grounds, only to
come face to face with the Recruiter. 
Recruiter: ""What'd I tell you? This world's full of crazy people." 
ManMan: "You could've told me earlier but you instead decided to be a dick."
Recruiter: "Well, you didn't have to go to the Land Of The Beer Goblins. 
I have some beer right here." 
ManMan: "TRIGGERED!!! But free beer is always nice.
Why the hell didn't you tell me before?"
Recruiter: "I'll give you 3 choices.
A. We hated each other when I got the free beer.
b. I still kinda hate you now.
c. I should at least give you a little bit of a challenge.
d. All of the above."
ManMan: "D."
Recruiter: "Correct! You may pass or something!"
ManMan enters the treasury and sees a corpse lying on the ground. 
Nie: "Well, well, well. You came back, huh?" 
ManMan: "No time for introductions. Give Vladia her shit and leave."
Nie: "Oh. Well, she's dea..." 
At that moment, Vladia comes running into the room
with a knife. She swings it around a little and then proceeds to
stab Nie in the chest multiple times!
Vladia: "That's what you get for stealing from the volt." 
ManMan gives some shit to Vladia. 
Vladia: "Oh! Good! 
Next up, go to the communication room and do some shit with Aaeron."
**task added: Go to the communication room and do some shit with Aaeron!
ManMan exits the treasury, runs to the
end of the hallway and enters the west classroom.
Aaeron: "Oh. Good day to you, ManMan." 
ManMan: "I'm assuming you must be Aaeron?"
Aaaeron: "Indeed I am. Not to be confused with Aaron. 
Aaron was the name of Moses' brother so we cannot
allow people in this Realm to be named Aaron."
ManMan: "Yeah. But you do allow people to be called SatanSatan. 
You know that 2 wrongs don't make a right." 
Monst: "But they do make a Riot!" 
Will ManMan ever stop talking and start learning some shit?
Why the fuck did Monst make a cameo in this episode? 
Find out next time on...
If! Aardwolf! Wasn't! Realistic!!!
Hope you come back soon Monst. 
Nie: "But what about me?!"
Vladia: "You only appeared 3 times before you died. 
I don't think anyone will miss you!"
Just! Let! Me! Do! The! Ending! Credits! 
ManMan (played by Reltubydoc)
Recruiter (played by Snooky) 
Vladia (played by Starling)
Aaeron (played by Chich) 

Minor characters

Crivoght (played by Noegel) 
Nie (played by Toneloc) 
Monst (played by... well, who'd you expect?)

If Aardwolf Was Not Realistic 11!!!
Note #55
posted on Jokes
Friday, March 9, 2018 @ 20:28
ManMan is standing on the shore of Sen'nar lake.
Breaking News Guy: "Breaking news! 
After a sad event that almost cost a student his life, Orcron was 
fired from the Aylorian Academy. Maerchyng is still trying
to find someone to replace him. We now go live to
the man who almost died, ManMan the beer drinking barbarian!" 
ManMan: "What the fuck do you want? I'm trying to find a flute."
Breaking News Guy: "ManMan, could you say a few words about the event?"
ManMan: "An ugly dipshit poisoned me, an old man saved me and the fatass 
troll that tried to kill me was burnt to death."
Bng: "We now go back to the story of the 
star-crossed lovers from Sen'nar."
ManMan: "Sort of like Romio and Booliette. 
By booliette I mean boo this shit sucks!"
Charles: "Mariya! If only I could see you again!"
ManMan: "What if there was a way I said you could?"
Charles: "Who are you? Do you know Mariya?"
ManMan: "I'll guide you to her."
ManMan takes out a knife.
Charles: "What are you doing with that knife?!"
ManMan: "I know where she is. She's in heaven. You'll see her when you die!"
Charles: "Mariya! I'll see you aga..."
ManMan stabs him to death before he can finnish and runs off towards
a random hut. 
Bng: "Damn! This show will get such high ratings! Thanks ManMan!"
It cuts to ManMan entering the hut.
Gale: "Hey! I'm gale! Nice to meet you!"
ManMan: "You don't happen to sell flutes, do you?"
Gale: "Yes but my flutes are really useless." 
ManMan: "Oh. It can be useful, allow me to demonstrate it's power."
ManMan grabs the flute and starts beating Gale's rabbit over the head.  
Gale: "No! Clover! I don't want to see you ever again!"
ManMan: "Sorry. Clover just fell victim to the power of the flute." 
Gale: "Wow. You should really join band camp. I mean GET OUT!"
It cuts to manMan standing in the west fields of Kimr's farm.
He notices the condition of the apple tree and yells at a sleeping farm hand.
ManMan: "Hey. Tell the guy who owns this dump to take better care of it!"
ManMan grabbs an apple from the tree and enters the house. 
Kimr: "Hi. Do you want to help me kill weeds and ants?"
ManMan: "Do it yourself you lazy farmer."
Kimr: "I've got some beer in the fridge."
ManMan: "I'll think about it." 
**task done: buy all of Vladia's shit!
**task added: Maybe you should go buy some beer? 
What will await ManMan in the Land Of The Beer Goblins?
Did I just spoil the next episode?
Oh shit?
Find out right here on The Story Of The Star-crossed lo...
Bng: "Wrong show, mate."
Find out next time on...
If! Aardwolf! Wasn't! Realistic!
Mariya: "Oh, Charles! Where for art thow Charles. 
Do I have to keep pretending to love him?"
Bng: "No. He's dead and the show's over."
Mariya: "Oh. Thanks. I need to get back to studying now. 
Sea ya, or should I say lake ya. This isn't really the ocean."
BF1G 4: Crushed **Hick* and Super Fuckin Drunk!!!
Note #54
posted on Jokes
Thursday, March 8, 2018 @ 03:13
Ivar: "Sup, bitches? 
It's time for the elimination." 
Liber: "I wonder who will be eliminated. 
Dog cost us the challenge last episode but he one the 
challenge in the first episode."
Dog: "Woof."
Ayla: "Please! Stop breaking the fourth wall!"
Peter: "This is exciting! I hope I'm safe!"
Alice: "Indeed. Finding out who leaves is 
an exciting event. Unless the contestant eliminated is you." 
Ivar: "Well, Alice, you're about 
to find out who is eliminated.
Woofiens, we got 2 votes this time."
DarkCop: "Let's just get to who's outa here."
Ivar: "Don't fucking rush me!"
Alice: "So, who's safe?"
Crivoght: "LAPORTA!"
Alice: "That is odd."
Bob: "Yeah dude! LaPorta's on the 
Shut Up Ninjas! We're not up for voting!"
Ivar: "Bob. You're on the other team."
Ivar tosses bob away from the elimination area.
Ivar: "As I was saying, we got 2 votes.
Vladia, Dog and Alice are all safe." 
Alice: "The notification that 
I am still allowed to participate is like music to my ears!"
Ivar: "You will get music to your ears. The prises 
this time are sets of headphones."
Ivar throws headphones at the safe contestants.
Ivar: "Noegel, Claire and Peter are also safe."
Peter: "Yay!"
Ivar: "Same thing goes for Glimmer, whoever Glimmer is. 
Seriously, who the fuck is Glimmer?"
Peter: "I don't know."
Vladia: "You got me."
Liber: "Must've missed that episode."
Orcron: "Shut up! Shut up! All of you!"
Ivar: "Anyway, DarkCop is also safe.
Orcron, you got the equivalent amount of votes as the amount of
combat maze fights Reltubydoc has won."
Orcron: "And what the fuck is that number?!"
Ivar: "It's also one less than the smallest perfect number."
Orcron: "Just fucking tell me!"
Ivar: "2. You are eliminated.
LOLOLOL, if you were smart, you would know the answer 
is actually 0. 
I guess you're not so smart after all."
Orcron: "I'm gonna kill you some day!"
Liber: "Um, Orcron, Ivar's a god. 
You can't really kill him."
Crivoght: "I'll be safe for LaPorta!"
Ivar: "Well, Crivoght, you and Liber are tied for the most votes.
The person eliminated will be the person who falls off the platform
that just appeared out of nowhere." 
Liber: "LaPorta is down there."
Crivoght: "Oh my god! LaPorta! I love you!"
Crivoght jumps off the platform, landing on the ground below.
Ivar: "That's settled. Crivoght, you're out of here."
Crivoght: "Wait! LaPorta's chances of winning just increased?!
Oh yeah! Go LaPorta! Yay! 
LaPorta's the best! You've got this! I love you! 
Go LaPorta! I really love you! 
Yay! Win for us!"
Ivar throws Crivoght into the LOL with one hand, just to prove he is god.
Ivar: "Ok. Today's challenge is to drink a ton of beer.
The team who drinks the most beer will win immunity. The team that doesn't
will get crushed by this motherfucking anvil." 
LaPorta: "Dish schood beh e she."
Ivar: "Go." 
Peter: "I can't drink beer! I'm a kid!"
DarkCop: "Don't sweat it. I've been drinking since I was 2.
I didn't get in trouble once."
Peter: "That's all I needed to hear!" 
DarkCop: "Quit whining and start drinking!"
Maerchyng: "Um, I don't think it is healthy for a dog to drink beer."
Chich: "But it's healthy for a dog to get humped!"
Chich starts humping dog mercilessly!
Starling: "I'm seriously thinking about banning you."
LaPorta finnishes his 379th bottle of beer.
2 hours later...
Ivar: "Time's up.
Noone died so I won't have to take away any points.
Woofins, you lost again it's time to get crushed."
LaPorta: "Goat anny maw beer?"
LaPorta runs in right before the anvil drops. 
Ivar drops the oversized anvil, crushing Woof and LaPorta.
Ivar: "Whoops, I killed LaPorta." 
Readers, vote for either Claire, DarkCop, Orcron, 
Alice, Dog, Noegel, 
Peter, Liber or Vladia to leave the show by
posting a personal note to Reltubydoc.
Whoever receives the most votes will leave the show.
da rools
Note #53
posted on Jokes
Friday, March 2, 2018 @ 21:34

Re: To Funny Not to Share +
Note #52
posted on Jokes
Thursday, March 1, 2018 @ 16:35
Reply to: Note 51 posted by Toneloc

this is like one of those 'people like this actually exist?' moments
Re: To Funny Not to Share
Note #51
posted on Jokes
Wednesday, February 28, 2018 @ 14:47
Reply to: Note 50 posted by Wars

tells that were forgotten to be added to last joke...
28 Feb 14:32:19 - You tell Clan Wars 'so how did that work for you?
complaining about my pre title?'
28 Feb 14:32:51 - You tell Clan Wars 'you got me a free pre title change
and now its totally awesome, about a half dozen people told me so, thanks btw'
28 Feb 14:33:06 - Clan Wars tells you 'Lol.'
28 Feb 14:35:15 - You tell Clan Wars 'guess no one cares about my tells
right now, the 3 idiots besides you who like to troll must be afk'
To Funny Not to Share
Note #50
posted on Jokes
Wednesday, February 28, 2018 @ 14:44
Hating On Toneloc tells you 'damn 6 levels in 4 days, KILLING IT rofl'
You tell Hating On Toneloc 'You keep better track then me. Im glad you 
care. feelsgoodbro'
Hating On Toneloc tells you 'oh yea i do, it does feel good, i dictate 
your playing style'
You tell Hating On Toneloc 'is that really what you think? That Im slow 
because of you? omg you really do think highly of yourself. lol thats too 
You tell Hating On Toneloc 'not that is matters in the least but im always 
slow for the first 50 levels for gqs cps ect. But what ever boosts your ego 
bud :)'
Hating On Toneloc tells you 'that i do, you dislike me so much because in 
the last 6 months i did 3x the amount of work you did in the 16 years you had 
that char'
You tell Hating On Toneloc 'Omg you are a real treasure <3'
Hating On Toneloc tells you 'my ego is through the roof, i own you right now 
and i dont even do anything :)'
You tell Hating On Toneloc 'Your just too funny. '
Hating On Toneloc tells you 'im funny? lol ok i guess i can own that, i am 
pretty funny now that you mention it'
Indeed :)
Re: ragequit
Note #49
posted on Jokes
Monday, February 26, 2018 @ 05:39
Reply to: Note 48 posted by Toneloc

Well, you might get to see this due to holographic tech.
Note #48
posted on Jokes
Monday, February 26, 2018 @ 00:50
Me ragequit? You have a better chance of seeing Michael Jackson and Tupac on
tour together in 2018. Nice try tho :P
Note #47
posted on Jokes
Wednesday, February 21, 2018 @ 09:49
4-3. :) Go Germany!

(Yeah, finnish coach Marjamaki is also a joke...)
BF1G 3: Why the hell would you do this in a pool?!
Note #46
posted on Jokes
Monday, February 19, 2018 @ 05:48
Ivar: "Ok bitches. 
It's time for the stariotypical surviver esk elimination thing."
Snooky: "Wouldn't it be better to call it the SSEET?"
Ivar: "Ok. Anyone have a better name?"
Dog: "Woof."
Liber: "Seriously dog? Your team is called woof."
Peter: "Hurry up and choose a name for the thing or I'll kill you all!"
Maerchyng: "Why don't we just call it the elimination?"
Ivar: "Fine. The elimination it is."
Dot Frog: "I know. We could call it the..."
Snooky: "Ivar said nothing about non-contestants suggesting 
ideas! Now get out!"
Snooky tries to hit DotFrog with his mace. 
However, dotFrog avoids the attack.
Ivar: "Anyway. We got 1 vote. However, 
I feel like making it really suspenseful for no reason.
The first 2 people safe at 0 votes are Starling and Bob. 
Here are your rewards."
Ivar throws cookies at the safe contestants. 
Ivar: "Also safe, we have Maerchyng, LaPorta, Dahr and Pixie."
Snooky: "Just hurry up and tell us who's out!"
Ivar:  "Don't rush me, yumbo dude."
LaPorta: "Ish Berdyntun saffe?"
Ivar: "Surprisingly, Bardington is safe."
Liber: "Hold on. So now it's down to Snooky and Toneloc?"
Ivar: "Liber, what are you doing here? You're on the other team."
Ivar picks up Liber and tosses him at the members of Woof.
Ivar: "So, as liber said, it's down to Snooky and Toneloc. 
It's either the pk troll or the literal troll going home.
Queue dramatic and suspenseful background music." 
Ayla: "This is a note. There is no music in notes."
Ivar: "Stop interrupting my show or I won't bang you tonight."
Ayla: "Sorry. Continue." 
Ivar: "Toneloc... is... safe at 0 votes."
Ivar throws a cookie at Toneloc and it lands in his face. 
Ivar: "How does it feel to be the victim"" 
Toneloc (while eating his cookie): "Not bad. I got
a free cookie."
Snooky: "Wait. That means... NO!"
Ivar: "With 1 vote against you, Snooky, you are eliminated."
Snooky: "No! You can't eliminate me! I need the gold for Aardult swim! Noooo!"
Ivar throws Snooky into the LOL with 1 hand, just to prove he is god.
Ivar: "Before I close the lid of the locker, I need to fix a mistake."
Liber: "No! What are you doing? No! Anyone but him!"
Ivar reaches in and grabs Chich from the LOL! 
Chich: "Hey guys. Does anyone need a hump?"
Noegel: "Chiiiiiiich!"
Chich: "Noeeeeegel!"
Ivar: "Ok. That's enough from you chich."
Liber: "Thank Ivar he didn't hump me."
Ivar: "Today's challenge is to swim 10 laps of a pool. 
The last person to complete this task will cause their team to be punished."
Liber: "And by "be punished," you mean lose a player."
Ivar: "Shut up. Get in the pool."
Everyone jumps into the pool accept dog.
Ivar: ",What are you waiting for? Get in the pool."
Dog: "No way man. I am not going anywhere near those fleas. 
I mean, Woof woof woof woof woof."
Ivar pushes dog into the pool, which is now full of Noegel's fleas.
Ivar: "Go." 
Peter (while treading water): 
"This is unfair! I'm only a kid! I can't swim as fast as the others!" 
DarkCop: "Shut up. You're starting to annoy me." 
Vladia: "I thought he was always annoying you."
DarkCop: "Everyone. Shut up. I'm trying to fly."
Liber: "Wouldn't that be breaking the rules?"
DarkCop: "Yeah. I'm called DarkCop for a reason."
Two hours later.
Ivar: "It's all down to Bardington for the Shut Up Ninjas and 
Dog for the Woof Woofs."
Claire: "Oh my god. That's like, not our team name." 
Dog: "Woof Woof."
Orcron: "Damn it dog! You're not helping in the slightest you retard!"
Bardington: "Roses are red. Violets are..." 
Dahr: "We don't have time for that! I don't look like I've got all day, do I?!"
Dog stops swimming and takes a giant shit in the pool!
Bardington (while swimming quickly to avoid the shit): 
"Roses are red, violets are blue! Dog just took a fucking poo!" 
Bardington finnishes his tenth lap. 
Ivar: "That's it. Woofsters, one of you is going away." 
LaPorta: "Shiiit isnqt all wize hentai." 
Ivar: "Vote on someone to go by sending reltubydoc a personal note."
If Aardwolf was not realistic 10!!!
Note #45
posted on Jokes
Sunday, February 18, 2018 @ 02:38
ManMan enters the bakery and sees a motherfuckin rat at the counter!
ManMan: "This is really unhygienic."
Lerp: "Dirp dirp. I'm lerp and I slirp like a twirp!"
ManMan: "This is the most sophisticated rat I've ever seen. 
That's a lot like being the tallest dwarf."
Lerp: "Look. I know our race has been getting a bad 
rat lately. Ya know, because of the whole vermin thing and that
one rat. What was his name? Ce phy ass?" 
ManMan: "Stop being a bully you douche ratbag!!" 
Lerp: "My apologies. What would you like?" 
ManMan: "I would like some cookies. It says that on my list." 
Lerp: "Oh. I can't read that. 
You see, although I am an educated talking rat, I can't 
read human writing. I write using the code used in that one book.
What was it called? The amazing Mau..."
ManMan: "Just give me the fucking cookies!" 
Lerp: "Coming right up.
These cookies were specially made by Sara."
ManMan: "Sara? Is that the name of a chick you had sex with?" 
Lerp: "Yes and no. She's not a chick.
She's a slaker."
ManMan: "What. Is that a combination of a slut and a baker?"
Lerp: "Pretty much. Now get out." 
Lerp gives a batch of Sara's cookies to ManMan!
Lerp: "The grocer is next door."
ManMan: "How'd you know I had to go there? 
You can't..."
Lerp: "Get out!"
Grizrol takes ManMan into the grocer. 
Grizrol: "Do you want something?"
ManMan: "I don't want anything but I need a water skin to 
progress the plot." 
Claire: "Like, stop breaking the 4th wall!" 
ManMan: "I do what I want you slainer!" 
Lerp: "Is that a combination of slut and trainer?"
ManMan: "Yes. Now get out."
Grizrol: "Here's your water skin." 
Grizrol gives a useless water skin to ManMan. 
ManMan also buys a vial of griffin blood and a scroll he can't use.
Gueldar: "Hey. Want some armor?"
ManMan: "Yeah. The armor set that that trainer fill or pill gave to me sucks."
Gueldar: "Filt? Yeah his armor is better than mine."
ManMan: "How are you still in business?"
Gueldar: "I don't know. Do you want some armor or not?"
ManMan: "No!" 
Gueldar starts sobbing uncontrollably! 
ManMan: "But I need a jerkin."
Gueldar: "Ok. Coming up."
ManMan starts singing, offkey and loudly.
ManMan: "Gueldar Devill, Gueldar Devill. If he sucks at making armor, 
his kids probably will." 
Gueldar: "Stop making references to 101 Sanctities Of 
Eternal Damnation!"
ManMan (while taking the jerkin): 
"That's not even the name of the movie!"
Gueldar: "That's not even my last name."
Gueldar's mother bursts through the door.
Gueldar's mother: "Gueldar Devill! Stop sucking! You're a discrase to the 
entire Devill family!"
Gueldar: "Damn it Mom! I told you to stay in the weapon shop!" 
ManMan: "Why would she listen to someone like you, Gueldar Devill?" 
Gueldar's mom introduces herself,, revealing that her name is xena and 
she sells dirks and other weapons.
ManMan: "Well, I really need a dirk."
Xena: "Ok. Coming right up." 
Xena: "Psst. I'm not gueldar's real mother. 
His father forced me to adopt him because he hated him so much."
ManMan: "Want me to kill him? The world would be a better
place if he was dead."
Xena: "Ok. Just don't sacrifice the corpse." 
ManMan decapitates Gueldar and loots his corpse, 
leaving it on the ground. 
Xena takes out a blade and swiftly makes a meal out of his corpse.
ManMan: "See ya. Wouldn't wanna be ya."
ManMan has 2 things left to buy! But will it be that easy?
Find out next time on...
"If! Aardwolf! Wasn't! Realistic!" 
bf1g anouncement
Note #44
posted on Jokes
Thursday, February 15, 2018 @ 02:58
From now on, voting will last until I make an new episode. 
Olympics ice hockey
Note #43
posted on Jokes
Wednesday, February 14, 2018 @ 14:02

:) Miracle on ice...
BF1G trailer: "Why Would You Do This In A Pool?!"
Note #42
posted on Jokes
Thursday, February 8, 2018 @ 05:39
Ivar: "Hey Bitches. Here's a trailer. 
Crivoght: "Damn it! I wanted to be on LaPorta's team!" 
Vladia: "Well, he's really lucky."
Ivar: "I'm going to do something now." 
Ivar lifts the lid of the LOL. 
Liber: "Wait! Ivar! What are you doing? No!"
Ivar: "Just fixing a mistake I made." 
Dog: "You have got to be woofing kidding."
Ivar: "Get in the pool.
Battle For 1 Gold coming
relatively soon, I guess. 
Note #41
posted on Jokes
Wednesday, February 7, 2018 @ 20:16
I keep seeing announcements like "WARFARE: A Class war has been declared..."
But when I join I end up on the same side as people with a lot less gold than I
Bf1g 2, "Do That Shit In The Toilet!"
Note #40
posted on Jokes
Wednesday, February 7, 2018 @ 02:25
Chich: Darkcop! Darkcop! 
DarkCop: "What do you want? I'm trying to quash the law." 
Chich: "Are you even a cop?" 
DarkCop: "Yeah. I'm DarkCop!" 
Chich: "Well, you're not like other cops?"
DarkCop: "What the heck are you saying?" 
Chich: "um... I humped Liber?" 
A flashback plays where Liber screams as Chich 
humps him! 
Liber arrives from the west.
Liber: "Yeah. I'm still scarred, Chich. Don't do it again."
It cuts to Snooky and Tzadkiel. 
Tzadkiel: "What are you doing? This kitteh wants to know."
Snooky: "Oh. I'm raising funds for the Protect Dot Frog campaign."
Tzadkiel: "Ok. I'll donate some gold." 
noegel: "But you don't have gold." 
Tzadkiel: "Oh yeah. I have some flees though." 
Dog, who was at Snooky's feet, runs away 
in terror!
Bardington: "Roses are red and so are these." 
Bardington holds up a bowl of apples. 
Bardington: "Where the hell did you get these flees?" 
Flees run all over everyone, being really annoying.
Noegel: "I gave them to her." 
Vladia: "I need one of those apples pls!" 
Bardington: "Roses are red, your not getting any!"
Ivar: "Um, that doesn't rhyme, bitch." 
Orcron: "Shut the hell up, shit head!"
Ivar: "Well, 8 characters have been chosen to join the game." 
Maerchyng: "But only 6 new characters are here."
LaPorta: "Wherewh hick*where r teh othor tow?"
Peter: "Give me the one gold right now! Now I say!" 
DarkCop: "Damn it. I thought Orcron was a douche." 
Starling: "Sorry I'm late, Ninjas. I was banning Reltubydoc." 
Snooky: "Yo, Starling. What's up?" 
Ivar: "Well, now we have a decent cast, we can start." 
Maerchyng: "What teams are they on?" 
Ivar: "Joining dog's team, we have:
Liber, Noegel, Peter, Alice and DarkCop.
This means, 
Chich, Snooky, Starling, Bardington and..." 
Toneloc: "I'm here!" 
Ivar: "And Toneloc will join team 2."
Liber: "This team needs a good name that isn't dumb." 
Alice: "Do any of my pears have any ideas?" 
Dog: "Woof! Woof woof woof."
Ivar: "I can't translate that name so I'll just call your team, "Woof." 
And team 2's name is?"
Snooky: "I've got a great name that could help everyone!"
Bardington: "Roses are red, violets are blue. Our team should be
Starling: "Shut up, ninja."
A sign that reads, "Shut up ninja," appears.
Ivar: "Now, we have our teams, being 
Woof and The Shut Up Ninjas."
Claire: "Like, what's the first challenge?"
Snooky: "Yeah. Hate to be pushy but we want to
start competing."
Ivar: "Fine. Then, today's challenge is to take a shit because Rel is lazy."
Dog: "This should be a pretty easy win for me." 
Dog takes a giant, steamy shit on the ground and barks. 
Alice: "Well, that was disgusting, but we still won."
Ivar: "Yes, you did. So, vote for either: 
Chich, Starling, Bardington, Snooky or Toneloc to leave."
Toneloc: "Hey. Our teams smaller than the other one." 
Ivar: "Well, to fix that, Chich will leave before he humps anyone."
Chich: "No!"
Chich screams as Ivar flings him into the Locker Of Losers!" 
Reltubydoc: "Vote by posting a note to me in the Personal forum!
Whoever receives the most votes will leave the show! 
Voting ends in 2 weeks." 
spoilers for next weeks episode of DarkCop
Note #39
posted on Jokes
Monday, February 5, 2018 @ 03:08
-Dark Cop is the pizza delivery driver
-special appearance by Starling as "The Dazzler"
-oh shit someone is scrying me
-opk and Im at Camp Snooky
-this might not end well
-Dammit Gooey, I know this is your fault!
-tell my wife I love her
If Aardwolf Was Not Realistic 9!!!
Note #38
posted on Jokes
Saturday, February 3, 2018 @ 21:31
ManMan is standing in the treasury, whistling a jaunty tune.
Vladia: "Noone wants to hear your whistling." 
ManMan: "Well I don't want to hear your voice. Just tell me things.
I want to graduate and get my free beer."
Vladia: "Ok. First, I would like you to auction this leaflet." 
ManMan: "How much do you think I'll get for a useless piece of paper?"
Vladia: "About 1,000,000 gold. However 
I am forced to take 10% of that gold so Claire can buy her 
precious little cookies." 
ManMan looks at the leaflet, seeing that there are some words on it.
ManMan: "Apparently this leaflet is used to kill newbies?" 
Vladia stares in shock at the leaflet.
Nie: "That's what you get for burying me under a pile of coins." 
Vladia: "Never mind. Just auction it damn it."
The leaflet gets sold for 1000000 gold ?100000 gold for 
Claire's cookies. 
Vladia: "Ok. Now you need to buy some things. They are located somewhere."
ManMan: "What are these "things" that I need to give you?"
Vladia: "A waterskin, an apple, some cookies, a scroll, some blood, a flute,
a dirk and a jerkin. I need them for something secret."
ManMan: "Well I'm not buying your shit for you, ok?"
Vladia: "Well if you want to graduate, you have to."
ManMan: "Fine. The free beer is too much to resist." 
Vladia: "Speaking of free beer, you should also buy me some beer." 
ManMan: "Nope." 
ManMan runs out of the classroom. 
Vladia: "Screw you, Man." 
ManMan: "It's ManMan, Woman!"
**task done: get a reasonable amount of gold.
Nie is waiting outside the academy. 
Nie: "I'll help you get all that stuff if you help me leave the 
academy without being buried under another pile of gold." 
ManMan: "I think being buried would be better. Sea ya! Wouldn't wanna be ya!"
Will ManMan succeed in bying all of Vladia's crap? 
Will Nie ever escape the academy? 
Is Orcron actually dead? 
Find out next time on...
If! Aardwolf! Wasn't! Realistic!"
Battle For 1 Gold
Note #37
posted on Jokes
Saturday, February 3, 2018 @ 04:43
Claire: "Oh my god, like Vladia! What's up?"
Vladia: "Not much, Claire."
Claire: "Like, did you see Orcron fall into
like, that random tub of Acid?" 
Glimmer: "Yeah! And it was hilarious." 
vladia: "Shut up, Glimmer. You already got the 
satisfaction of pushing him into the acid."
Claire: "Oh my god. I agree with my, like, 
Vladia: "I thought Crivoght was your 
best female friend for life." 
Claire: "Oh my god. I completely forgot about her."
Orcron: "God, you're stupid!" 
Maerchyng: "There's no reason to be so rude, Orcron."
Dog: "Woof." 
Orcron: "Dog, we should've left you at the WTC! 
Ya know what, we should've put you down!"
Maerchyng: "What was that, dog? Did you want to say something?"
Vladia: "He's a dog. He can't talk."
Orcron: "Shut up, Old Man! We know that!"
Bob The Priest Dude enters.
Btpd: "Yo, dudes and dudettes! What's up?"
LaPorta: *hick* noot moch. Cri * crivoght's 
stiil stallking meh." 
Maerchyng: "LaPorta. I didn't see you there."
Crivoght dashes into the room from out of nowhere.
Claire: "Oh my like, god! Hey Criv!"
Crivoght: "Hey claire. Do you know where the love of my life is?" 
Claire: "Oh, like, LaPorta? He's right there." 
LaPorta: "Get tHaat thyng awayy from meh! Bohb, doh sumthyng!" 
Bob: "Ya got it, dude!" 
Bob casts Angel Breath, putting Crivoght to sleep.
Meanwhile, Alice is trying to help Bardington write a poem.
Bardington: "Roses are red, violets are purple." 
Alice: "No offence, fellow Bard, but in these 
sorts of poems, the phrase is "roses are red, 
violets are blue," not what you said. 
Just giving you advice."
Bardington: "But violets aren't blue. They're purple." 
Meanwhile, Dahr and LT. Pixie are in the war preparation room.
LT. Pixie: "Remember, Dahr. You get payed for commanding the soldiers." 
Dahr: "Yes Sir! You get payed for treating the wounded!" 
LT Pixie. "I'll let that one slide." 
Dahr. "Yes Mam!"
LT. Pixie: "We need one more gold to reach 1,000,000!"
Ivar arrives through a portal.
Ivar: "You're in luck then."
Dahr: "How are we in luck, sir?"
Ivar: "Well, after I came back from death, I got really bored. 
So I thought I'd start a battle. A battle for 1 gold."
LT. Pixie: "Are we fighting for something else as well?" 
Ivar: "Yes. But it's so amazing, I can't put it in the show's title." 
Ivar peers around himself intently.
Everyone else appears out of nowhere.
Ivar: "Great. We have enough players now. I will now form 2 teams of 5.
Crivoght, Claire, Orcron, Dog and Vladia are on one team.
LaPorta, Bob, Maerchyng, Pixie and Dahr are on the other team. 
Now, if you want anyone else to join, send reltubydoc a tell." 
Ayla: "Please don't break the forth wall, Ivar." 
Ivar: "I'm hosting, Ayla. I do what I want."
Maerchyng: "Ivar is right. This is a small cast. More people won't hurt."
Orcron: "Getting rid of you by force will hurt, dumbass!"
Ivar: "Everyone.. Be quiet." 
What will happen next? Why is this ending really boring? 
Find out next time on... Battle! For! 1! Gold!
Send Reltubydoc a tell if you want to 
recommend a character that should join the show and what team they should join.
Orcron: "And make sure it's a tell or I'll murder you!"
Re: DarkCop: The season premire! +
Note #36
posted on Jokes
Tuesday, January 30, 2018 @ 06:02
Reply to: Note 35 posted by Reltubydoc

lol the real jokes snooky lives.

Re: DarkCop: The season premire!
Note #35
posted on Jokes
Saturday, January 20, 2018 @ 23:54
Reply to: Note 25 posted by Snooky

Thanks for letting me be a guest star in the 
newest episode of Dark Cop.
Re: lost episode and anouncement +
Note #34
posted on Jokes
Saturday, January 20, 2018 @ 23:48
Reply to: Note 33 posted by Biker

forget what I said about the lost episode. It's note 20 on the jokes board. 
However, do not forget that I'm no longer on holidays
so I won't be able to keep to a posting schedule 
or post as frequently. Thanks. 
Re: lost episode and anouncement
Note #33
posted on Jokes
Saturday, January 20, 2018 @ 19:28
Reply to: Note 32 posted by Reltubydoc

>I seem to have lost my newest episode of
>If Aardwolf was not realistic.
>I posted it but now I can't find it on jokes.

Note 20.

lost episode and anouncement
Note #32
posted on Jokes
Saturday, January 20, 2018 @ 18:53
I seem to have lost my newest episode of
If Aardwolf was not realistic.
I posted it but now I can't find it on jokes.
So I will just have to recap the episode in this note.
"Oh my god! Please like stop 
breaking the like fourth wall!" 
Shut the hell up and let me recap, Claire!
Anyway, Maerchyng, claire and dahr were in the ofice when they 
started breaking the fourth wall and talking about manMan and Filt's
trip to the bar. 
Lad, who is alive again now, came in and said some weird shit about being 
on another show. ManMan returned from the bar and entered the treasury.
Vladia, the treasurer, told him that she buried a guy under 
a giant pile of coins for stealing from the vault, which caused everything 
to go from 1 to holy shit in about 2 seconds. 
And That's what you missed on If Aardwolf Was Not Realistic.

I just want to say that episodes will be less frequent
now that I'm no longer on holidays. 
I will still make episodes when I can but it won't be scheduled any more.
So you'll never know when episodes come out but 
I hope you still enjoy the series. 
Until next time, keep on killing things.
Re: DarkCop: The season premire!
Note #31
posted on Jokes
Saturday, January 20, 2018 @ 18:44
Reply to: Note 25 posted by Snooky

I'm so blessed to have been a guest star in this episode!
Re: Best April Fool's Joke +++
Note #30
posted on Jokes
Saturday, January 20, 2018 @ 13:37
Reply to: Note 29 posted by Lasher

I think you underestimate us. We WILL grind to these items, just give us time.
Re: Best April Fool's Joke +
Note #28
posted on Jokes
Saturday, January 20, 2018 @ 12:30
Reply to: Note 27 posted by Lasher

so glad this is on jokes

Best April Fool's Joke
Note #26
posted on Jokes
Saturday, January 20, 2018 @ 11:18
@x007| Keywords@x007   : rank6ear Flux revenge egg prize                    @x007|
@x007| Name@x007       : Flux's Revenge@x007                                     |
@x007| Id@x007         : 1805116223                                         |
@x007| @x006Type@x007       : Armor                     @x006Level  @x007:   211           @x007|
@x007| @x006Worth   @x007   : 0                         @x006Weight @x007:     1           @x007|
@x007| @x006Wearable@x007   : ear                                                @x007|
@x007| @x006Score      @x007: 780                                                @x007|
@x007| @x006Material@x007   : ruby                                               @x007|
@x007| @x006Flags   @x007   : invis, magic, nosell, burn-proof, nolocate, nosac, @x007|
@x007|            : nosteal, heroonly, V3, lauction                    @x007|
@x007| Found at @x007  : Icefall                                            @x007|
@x007|@x006 Stat Mods  @x007: Damage roll  @x007: @x002+60@x007      Hit roll     @x007: @x002+30@x007         |
@x007|              Strength     @x007: @x002+7@x007       Intelligence @x007: @x002+8@x007          |
@x007|              Dexterity    @x007: @x002+7@x007       Constitution @x007: @x002+7@x007          |
@x007|              Hit points   @x007: @x002+400@x007     Moves        @x007: @x002+100@x007        |
@x007|              Mana         @x007: @x002+100@x007                                |
@x007|@x006 Resist Mods@x007: All magic    @x007: @x002+50@x007      All physical @x007: @x002+50@x007         |
DarkCop: The season premire!
Note #25
posted on Jokes
Saturday, January 20, 2018 @ 02:00
Gtell *burp
Take a journey deep into
the mean streets of Midgaard city and into the life of Dark Cop. He's unlike
any cop you have ever met. He doesnt uphold the law and bring those would break
it to justice, he brings those that would FOLLOW the law to INJUSTICE!

"Ahhh another lovely day in Migaard city", a man thinks to himself
as he strolls on down to the Grunting Boar Inn for a totally not
illegal barrel of beer...when suddenly...
"Hey baby, you ever been with a fat bitch with a stubbly face
before?", says the fat whore in the alley around to the side of
the Grunting Boar in. "No" the man says. "And I don't want to
either, fat sex is gross and the rolls on your belly go all the
way around your back like an oversized inner tube at a 
waterpark. My apologies, miss. Have a good day"
The man begins to walk away when suddenly a black man bursts
from the bushes and tackles the unsuspecting man.
"Got em, the sting is a success!", exclaims the fat fatty fat
uggo hooker in a deep booming man-voice. "Thanks, I couldnt
have done it without you." The Dark man takes off his Du-Rag
to reveal that he is DARK COP!
"D-ddddd-dark cop?" Says the man, now handcuffed. "Your back?
Credits (in order of appearence:
Man- Reltubydoc
Fat ugly hairy hooker- Noegel
And Toneloc as DarkCop!
Written and directed by Snooky
Shithole black humour
Note #23
posted on Jokes
Monday, January 15, 2018 @ 13:29
"The Citizens of the United States of America have a right
to applaud themselves for having given to mankind examples
of an enlarged and liberal policy: a policy worthy of imitation.
All possess alike liberty of conscience and immunities of citizenship
It is now no more that toleration is spoken of,
as if it was by the indulgence of one class of people,
that another enjoyed the exercise of their inherent natural rights.
For happily the Government of the United States, which gives
to bigotry no sanction, to persecution no assistance
requires only that they who live under its protection should
demean themselves as good citizens,
in giving it on all occasions their effectual support."
Re: found this at a local auto parts store
Note #22
posted on Jokes
Monday, January 15, 2018 @ 10:30
Reply to: Note 21 posted by Mannec

That's how you know it's the good stuff!
found this at a local auto parts store
Note #21
posted on Jokes
Sunday, January 14, 2018 @ 20:57
note the disclaimer on the back, 'DO NOT USE...'

cheers 8D
If Aardwolf Was Not Realistic 8!!!
Note #20
posted on Jokes
Saturday, January 13, 2018 @ 19:32
Clayre and Dahr are in maerchyng's ofice. 
"What is it that you two want?
I am a busy man, so please make it quick."
"Sir! ManMan and filt have left the academy, sir!"
"Oh, they'll be back. I see that they've taken 
a trip to the bar. There's nothing to worry about. And you, Claire?"
"Oh my god. I just want to ask
why are we still in the like academy after like 
8 episodes? It's getting like boring."
"Claire, could you please do us a favor and 
not break the fourth wall again?"
"Oh my god, sorry, Mr. Maerchyng!"
"But to answer your question, the first season is mainly 
manMan's journey through our 
wonderful Academy."
"If I may, lad you just broke the fourth wall, lad!"
Lad fades into existence!
"Oh my god, lad! I thought I like killed you and like you died!
How are you back and why do you keep like saying your name?" 
"Oh well, lad, there's a thing called coming back to life, lad."
"You mean a repop, right?"
"That's what I meant, lad Maerchyng."
"I am assuming that Claire killed you and after a repop, you came back, right?"
"You are right, la uh, I mean Sir."
"Anyway, I should go, lads! I have to star in another series, lad!"
"Like what do you like, mean?" 
Lad fades out of existence and manMan and filt return to the academy."
"Ok, man *hick* manMan, go to the treasury now."
"Ok, you crazy drunk armorer."
When manMan enters the treasury, the first thing he sees is a 
giant pile of gold coins with legs sticking out."
"What happened here? Did someone animate this pile of gold?"
Vladia looks up once she hears the question.
"Oh, no. I'm not a psi. I'm just the vault guard."
"Then explain the legs sticking out of the frickin pile of coins!"
"Oh. That's just Nieh." 
"Nie? Is that your imaginary friend or something?"
"No. He's a guy who tried to steal from the vault." 
"Oh so you killed him and buried him under a pile of coins, right?"
"No. I buried him alive." 
"That just went from 0 to holy crap in about 2 seconds."
**task done: go to the bar with filt.
**task added: get a reasonable amount of gold.
What will await manMan in the treasury?
Is this outro getting old?
Could someone give me suggestions for a 
new outro if it is getting old?
How much gold do pieces of paper get sold for?
Find out on the next episode of...
If! Aardwolf! Wasn't! Realistic!
If Aardwolf Was Not Realistic 7!!!
Note #19
posted on Jokes
Friday, January 5, 2018 @ 21:45
ManMan stands outside the academy armory. 
"Hello! I need free stuff!"
Several loud crashes are heard from within the armory, 
followed by loud swearing.
"Ok. I'll just come in without permission." 
The recruiter appears before manMan. 
"Yeah. That's a great idea. Noone will kill you."
"I don't have time for your crap today, moron. Unless you are 
giving me beer or free stuff, I don't care what 
you have to say."
"Now listen here, man."
"My name is manMan, not man but I'll let it slide."
"Stop interrupting me!" 
"Actually, you're the one interrupting me."
"Shut up and let me speak."
"Ok fine. I'll let you give me a boring lecture."
`i just want to tell you that the guy in there is crazy." 
"So is practically everyone in this academy. Bye!"
"But hes really..." 
ManMan stops listening to the recruiter and enters the armory. 
A large, round, metal shield flies across the room 
and almost hits manMan in the head. 
"Ah! What the hell was that?!" 
"Oh flying dog crap! Sorry about that." 
"I wanted free armor not a free headache." 
"Look. I'm sorry. I'm just trying to alphabetize my 
armor, ok?" 
"Well I need some armor and some training so stop doing that and teach me."
The armorer picks up the shield and puts it next to some leather boots. 
"Oh ok. Btw, the name's Filt." 
Filt teaches manMan all the random crap that he needs 
to know about equipment. 
"Ok. Now that you know everything, here's some armor." 
"Finally. I've be waiting 2 hours." 
"Well there you go. Also, do you wanna go to the pub?"
"Hell yes." 
"Let's get drunk mate!"
What will await manMan at the pub? 
Will he ever go back to the academy? 
Will I ever start making better endings to these episodes? 
"Well you won't start breaking the fourth wall, will you?"
Find out next time on...
If! Aardwolf! Wasn't! Realistic!
Re: Aardwolf G.O.A.T. Examination.
Note #18
posted on Jokes
Sunday, December 31, 2017 @ 01:04
Reply to: Note 12 posted by Wars


I guess I'm just a C student.
IAWnr anouncement (weekly episodes)
Note #16
posted on Jokes
Saturday, December 30, 2017 @ 20:37
As some of you may know, I released a new episode of
If Aardwolf Was Not Realistic yesterday.
This was the first episode in a while.
I want to keep posts as consistant as
possible,, so from now on, I will post one episode per week. 
Also, I may be adding a bit more vulgarity to the series.
I learned that you can get away with using vulgarity on the joke
board, thanks to Wars.
So, you may see a bit more cursing in the series from now on.
I hope you enjoy the changes to the series.
If not, reply to this note with your complaints and I'll sort it out. 
So until next time, keep on killing things.
Re: Aardwolf G.O.A.T. Examination.
Note #15
posted on Jokes
Saturday, December 30, 2017 @ 20:14
1. d.
It's an easy quest so I wouldn't hesitate.
She'll come back after a repop.
2. It's hard but I'd have to say a. 
I could try and talk them out of it but in the end, it's their choice not mine.
3. d.
I've only competed in a few global quests and have never won any of them.
I also know that people have won hundreds or even thousands of gq's. 
I know that a lot of people are a lot better than me.
4. c 
I've never won in opk.
However, to me, it feels right to show your killer you recognise their skill.
5. a.
It's almost like the decision is obvious. 
Thanks for the test.