The Gaardian Aardwolf Notes Archive

display all notes from
on the board
between and
containing the phrase

If Aardwolf Wasn't Realistic, goals tp!!!
Note #4
posted on Jokes
Saturday, November 3, 2018 @ 04:10
Previously, on If Aardwolf Wasn't Realistic...
After completing his classes at the Aylorian Academy, the 
dickhead of a recruiter forces ManMan to
venture into the long-forgotten classroom to retrieve his toilet pa...
err... trivia points (his words, not mine).
ManMan got his graduation pin, but it was really boring, so 
it wasn't covered in the series. 
Now, ManMan has embarked on his second (sub) area quest. 
Lasher: "You know it's a goal, right?"
Narrator: "Shut up, Lasher! I run the show, I say what I want!"
Lasher: "Yeah, but you are really bad at your job."
Narrator: "At least I HAVE a job!"
Lasher: "I am the leader of the Wolf Administration. 
You just recap previous episodes of a show that 
no-one gives a shockproof about!"
Narrator: "My show is loved by a whole 4 people!"
Lasher: "4 out of around 250?"
Narrator: "You wanna 1-v1 me, you human god wannabe?!"
Lasher: "Come at me, asshat!"
Lasher wields the Bugz Zapper! 
Lasher''s blast does unbelievable things to the Narrator (5,346,903,711)!
Narrator: "Please... someone... help me?"
Reltubydoc: "Now, be ready for the episode!"
Narrator: "Wait, what about the rabid imm after my ass?!"
Reltubydoc: "Honestly, no-one cares."

ManMan and Filt are chilling at Ivar's pub. 
ManMan: "So, yeah. The recruiter wants some tp to wipe his ass with."
Filt: "Mate, that Recruiter dude's kinda sick in the ole' head!" 
ManMan: "Honestly, I haven't met anyone who isn't."
Ivar: "I heard that."
ManMan: "Anyway, he wants me to go to that empty classroom." 
Filt: "Aww, mate. You really don't wanna go in there. 
There's some real scary shit in there. It's even 
more terrifying than the shit in my pants!" 
Reltubydoc: "Wait, aren't you already there?"
ManMan: "Shut up! It's your fault for making the 4 viewers assume!"
Filt: "Anyway, that shit is scary!"
ManMan: "Halloween was 3 days ago. 
The only thing scary in that room would be some left over decorations."

It cuts to ManMan standing outside the empty room.
Therefore, he is forced to use all the knowledge he 
he acquired during his Academy lessons and...
bashes the door down. 
He throws the door off to the side and enters the classroom.
He sees a figure huddled in the corner. 
ManMan: "Who are you? Do you have any tp?"
Figure: "I am Niex. 
And there is no time to be looking for that shit."
ManMan: "Listen, mate. The Academy Recruiter needs his toilet paper. If not, 
your sewers will be clogged with shirts."
Niex: "Yeah, I know. I'll get it, but you need to help me in return."
ManMan: "Ugh! What do you want?!"
Niex: "Ok, so, there's this guy who's trying to kill me. 
He's kinda famous, you see. 
I was able to take up shelter here."
Niex: "You see, the killer is also on the hunt for the legendary toilet paper. 
I believe that if it were given to him, 
it would calm him."
ManMan: "Yeah, well, what about the Jackass who asked me to get it?"
Niex: "I'll tell him everything. Just go!"
**task added: Retrieve the toilet paper with help from Niex.
ManMan: "Ok, so where's the toilet paper?"
Niex: "Oh, it's probably in a toilet, my friend."
ManMan: "No, you incompitant dipshit! I meant the shit I'm LOOKING FOR!"
Niex: "Oh, that'd probably be in the toilet too, unless it's been flushed."
ManMan slaps Niex across the face with a sign reading 
"Short Term Memory Loss My Ass!".
Niex: "Oh, you mean the legendary TP?"
ManMan: "Yes, yes! That! Where the hell is it?"
Niex: "Oh, well, I honestly don't remember off the top of my head."
ManMan prepares to slap Niex with the sign.
Niex: "But I'm pretty sure Nalzign would know. 
Unlike myself, he,"
ManMan: "Is actually a compitant thinker."
Niex: "That's not what I was gonna say, but whatever.
Open the hidden door in the floor and head down into the maze. 
He should be... somewhere in there."
**task added: Go and find Nalzign and force him 
to get the tp!
What will await ManMan in the Maze? 
Who is this Killer that Niex is talking about?
Am I really back to doing this shit again?
Find out next time on...
If! Aardwolf! Wasn't! Realistic!

Hi all! Thanks for reading! 
I just want to clear up a few things!
First up, I'm sorry for the lack of posts recently.
I'm honestly pretty busy IRL, and I just don't have 
much time to write these episodes. 
Next up, I decided to skip the end of the Aylorian Academy.
Honestly, I thought the concept was getting kinda boring.
and I wanted to change the series to be... how do you say...
more unique. 
I thought the Academy thing was just too 
similar to the ACTUAL events of
the Academy on the real MUD. 
I just wanted to clear those things up. 
So yeah, hope you enjoy the episode and until next time,
please, lasher, give me a gquest I can win.
Lasher: "That's not the outro I remember."
Sorry. Can we restart that?

Until next time, keep on killing things!