Last time, on BF1G... You know what? These recaps take up so much time, I think I'll just stop doing them. Just look at the archives. You can see everything you want and more! So yeah, no more recaps! I do what I want! Anyway, now that the hideous horrible hiatus is over, I bet you can't wait for this intro to be over so we can get this Halloween Special started! Aylor (still trapped in the LOL): "Ok, you're just becoming more half-witted every episode." Snooky: "Yeah, it ain't no costume party! It's closer to Free Stuff Day!" Narrator: "Wait, what the hell are you... whatever. Anyway, now back to BF1G." The sceen cuts to Ivar in his Manor. He picks up a piece of paper labeled "Ivar's To Think About Doing But Not Actually Do List". Ivar: "Ok, get Aylor out of the LOL? Nah. She can survive." It cuts to the LOL, where Aylor is trying to cast Knock, not noticing that the lid of the LOL is magically warded. Aylor: "You see what this place has done to me? I'm sitting here knocking on a warded door!" She points at Orcron, who is trying to kill a sprite on the wall. Aylor: "You, Warty Mc'Pimpleface, you think you could knock this lid open? All of us are dying for fresh air." Orcron: "Look, this fairy motherfucker has been annoying me for 3 months now. But when I finally kill that basterd, I'll bust this cage clean open!" It cuts back to Ivar's manor. Ivar: "Re-open my pub? Why should I? No one will go there with Snooky here..." He pauses, suddenly remembering the show! Ivar: "Oh, what the Valkur have I been doing? The viewers need some new shit and I gotta give it to them!" Lel: "Actually, I kinda give them all the," Ivar: "Shut it!" It cuts to the elimination area. Liber: "Ok, this is really getting out of hand. Where the hell is he?!" Dog: "Woof!" Tzadkiel: "Does he disappear often?" Liber: "Well, yes. Very often in fact, but," Noegel: "Oh, who was right? She was. You go Kitteh." Claire: "Oh, like, no. We could be, like, canceled!" Snooky: "Nah, don't stress it! Rel wouldn't do that to us! You know that little (censored racial slur) would inform us!" Liber: "Well, you better be correct, Snooky." With a thunderclap, Ivar appears in the room! Ivar: "What's up, bitches? Did you miss me?" Chich: "See, Liber? You just complain way too much!" Maerchyng: "Yes! We sure did miss you, Ivar!" Ivar: "Then, I hope you're ready for the upcoming double elimination!" Claire: "Double elimination? OMG! I thought that was a joke!" Ivar: "Well, you better believe it, because you guys are the ones voting." Bob: "Hold up, dude! We vote now? That's just radicle!" Liber: "Wait, didn't you say the viewers would be voting?" Starling: "Ninja, it's kinda obvious. We," Ivar: "We didn't get enough votes!" Snooky: "Aww, seriously, people? You need to start doing that votin thing!" Ivar: "Ok, so, Glimmer and Tzadkiel won immunity last time, so they are safe! This episode, the prizes are halloween themed pumpkins!" Glimmer: "It's not halloween." Noegel: "Who cares? They're pumpkins!" Ivar: "Oh, and they're on fire for some reason." Glimmer: "Oh, no! You are not gonna throw," Ivar throws flaming pumpkins at the safe contestants. Glimmer gets hit and starts burning alive! Ivar: "Ok, so now, vote for the person you dislike the most." Bob: "Dude, everyone here's so cool, but I guess Liber. He's just too serious for me, you know what I'm sayin?" Snooky: "Man, someone better tell that drunk ass man, LaPorted, to go back to the pub where he belongs!" Chich: "I'm voting Liber!" Liber: "Why?" Chich: "Episode one, dick head!" Tzadkiel: "I vote Dog, since I'm a kitteh and all." Claire: "Ew! I, like, do not, like, like LaPorta. He reminds me of my 50 year old uncle, and I always have to clean up the vomit when he drinks too much!". Glimmer: "I vote Bob. Unlike LaPorta, who is in a constant drunk state, Bob is completely Sober, and yet still does nothing to contribute to the plot. Also, I like dogs." Bardington: "Roses are red, like an agro mob. I think I, vote for Bob." Liber: "Sorry, LaPorta. I just don't think you are quite cut out to be here." LaPorta: "*Hick* Barding-tuna! those poems are not not not deez notz!" He passes out. Dog: "Woof!" Ivar: "That sounded like Bardington. No backsies." Maerchyng: "I vote for myself because I don't want to cause the departure of anyone else." Ivar: "Ok, Starling. It's all down to you. LaPorta's already out. Either Bob or Bardington will join them." Starling: "Well, no need to be dramatic. I vote Bardington. I just feel like Bob is cooler." Ivar: "So, LaPorta and Bardington are outa here!" Ivar throws both Bardington and LaPorta into the LOL! (part 2 will come tomorrow! I promise!)
BF1G 13: This should've been a halloween Special!!!
Saturday, December 15, 2018 @ 01:22